Art B.
Growing up, I never thought I would have ended up in the circumstances I find myself in today. Twenty-five years ago, at the age of 23 years old, I was sentenced to Life Without the Possibility of Parole (LWOP) for murder. A sentence like that breeds a sense of hopelessness, which is what it is intended to do. The fact of the matter is I had no right to take someone’s life. Therefore, I am truly sorry for my actions.
Sentenced to LWOP had also perpetuated my belief that I was worthless. This ideology of worthlessness went on for many years and it contributed to my continued need for acceptance. My need for belonging led me to making more bad choices.
In my journey, I began reflecting on the harm I had caused the people around me and in my community. Those thoughts led me to make a conscience decision to change who I was in honor of those I have harmed. I read and educated myself and, as a result, I began to find my worth.
With a new sense of self-worth, I enrolled into college. The first part of my collegiate journey gave me a new perspective and valuable insight to the harm I caused. I began realizing what is important: education, self-worth, hope, family, and my community. My life was beginning to have purpose.
My acceptance into Cal State LA’s bachelor’s degree program is something I was proud of. The patience and compassion the doctors and professors exemplified helped get me through difficulties and gave me a confidence that I lacked. As a result, a new sense of hope and a better tomorrow is what burns within me. For this, I am eternally grateful to them.
Now, being a Cal State LA graduate has opened my mind, and it has led me to make better choices. It has confirmed to me that I finally am valuable and worthy of it all.
Edwin C.
I was sentenced to Life Without the Possibility of Parole for crimes I committed when I was 17 years old. I was so misguided, and my thoughts were deeply distorted that for so many years I only focused on how the crimes I committed had affected me. I blamed everything and everyone for the predicament I found myself in. I was swallowed up by the judgment of others and the fact that I was categorized as irredeemable. The stigmatization of my sentence implied that I was a remorseless monster incapable of change. I knew that wasn’t true, of course, but I also knew that how much I did change in the next 20, 30, or 50 years would be irrelevant because I would never be able to demonstrate my change in hopes of being released. Incarcerated is how I would die. Therefore, I erroneously made the decision to live up to the roles that were ascribed to me by peers and the correctional administration. But I knew I wanted something different; I wanted more. I no longer wanted to confirm the preconceived notions and labels of being sentenced to LWOP.
In 2017, I chose to further my education despite the many obstacles I faced as a result of my sentence. I didn’t exactly embark on this journey with a goal in mind, but just a desire to change. Education encouraged me to develop intercultural relationships and strengthen interpersonal ones. I gradually stepped away from my victim stance and began to think about my victims and their families along with the
harm, trauma, and pain that I caused them. Education contributed to my rehabilitation and fostered my life of amends. I decided to disassociate myself from the gang and criminal lifestyle and help rebuild everything that I once destroyed. After 17 years, I was resentenced to a determinate sentence and, in mid-2024, I was found suitable for parole.
Jose "Hozer" F.
Hi everyone! My name is Jose “Hozer” Flores. First, I want to thank the entire Cal State LA faculty, and all the students, for always embracing us and considering us part of the Cal State LA family. Yay, Golden Eagles! Even though we are incarcerated, you all have always considered us equal, and never looked at any of us as just a number. In prison, I have always felt dehumanized and stripped of my identity; especially, when everyone around me is wearing the same blue uniform. Our freedom of self-expression and individuality has been long gone.
Today, I have reclaimed myself and rewrote my story, my future, and what I want my legacy to be. I will be forever in debt to all my amazing professors for this! There truly are no words that could ever adequately express my gratitude for what they all have done for me or to express what they all mean to me. Everything I do in life moving forward will be to honor them for not just changing my life but giving me a new life—one that I am proud of.
My entire life’s mission will be devoted to being of service. I want nothing more in life, than to help others who are less fortunate. I will do this until the day I die. I have caused a lot of harm in my past, which I accept full responsibility and accountability for. There was no rhyme or reason for the harm I caused in my past—none!
I caused so much harm that realistically there is no way for me to ever make up for it, but I will live everyday trying my best to do so. That’s a promise! This is why I am so grateful to all my professors, because with the education I have received from them, I will be able to serve on a macro level, rather than a micro level. I plan to open organizations in the communities that are most in need. I will never stop advocating for everyone in underserved communities to have access to education, healthcare, housing, food security, and equity; and to effect change in vital societal sectors.
Stay tuned… ‘cause I promise, y’all will be hearing a lot more about your fellow Golden Eagle.
Caw Caw—Thank You and Love You All… Lots!!!
Lester G.
Higher education placed me in a position where I choked in my trauma. I was abandoned by my father at the age of 12 but there is a chance to reconnect—even 23 years later. I know how it feels to be fatherless—it numbed me. I also took someone’s life and left their child fatherless. The child will never get to know their dad and will live in constant curiosity, loneliness, and frustration. I was wrong for believing that the way I lived was correct. My selfish actions have no excuse—not in 2008, not today, nor in the future.
My present and future mindset has been altered through my educational path in prison. I thought I knew after obtaining my GED. I thought I knew after an A.A. but found out I knew nothing arriving at Cal State LA. Now I consider myself a consistent learner of life. Freire states that “knowledge emerges only through invention and reinvention,” and Cal State LA has helped me with self-discovery. I have unraveled who I used to be before I trashed the little kid I was. Education helped me become who I was before the anger with an additional dose of growth. I lived with a single mother, with an immigrant background, and became a part of the criminal justice system as a juvenile.
My vision of life was narrow; however, today I imagine and dream beyond the prison walls. My life experience and skills are not mine to keep. I plan to employ my dog business plan upon release to help foster kids and formally incarcerated individuals. I also plan to use my communication degree to help the immigrant community. My ideas and achievements also belong to Mr. Canenguez.
Freddie H.
Hello, my name is Freddie, and I would like to express how education has changed my perspective in life. Education has been what separates those who are comfortable with the status quo and those who wish to rise above their current situation. Cal State LA has been instrumental in my growth as a human being; never limiting my quest to view the world through a critical and analytical lens. The newfound perspective has steered me towards a transformation filled with empathy, compassion, and altruism while doing away with the fear, confusion, and misguided ideologies that once held me back from embracing my authentic identity.
At one point in my life, I disconnected from reality, and I became capable of murder. However, the motivation to evolve into the man I am today grew out of the remorse I acquainted myself with when I realized the magnitude of my selfish act. The void I have caused in the lives of multiple families I can never undo, however, living a life of servitude as living amends in honor of the people I have harmed is my raison d’être. The courage to embrace who I am today and not be defined by my past restructures, as well as how I am showing up in the world while serving a Life Without Parole sentence.
No longer living in the darkness where shame once festered, I now live in the light and
am a part of a community of scholars who have come a long way in their own journey. Becoming a witness to their transformation has been an inspiration for me. Mere words cannot describe the hunger I have obtained throughout my scholarly endeavors and the continuous evolution of my mind adds to the expansion of my purpose. Education has been a true lifesaver.
Marquell S.
I am Marquell Smith, a Cal State LA bachelor’s degree in communication major and a blessed child of God who has learned how to appreciate the Good Lord’s loving grace! Yes, I have always been a blessed child of God; however, my everyday actions, that were heavily influenced by my warped thought process prior to 2017, are examples of my lack of awareness to the existence of this blessing.
On Feb. 20, 1998, I was 22 years old and thought I knew everything. In my cold, calculated, manipulated-minded, me-against- the-world way of thinking, I thought I was a gift to all women who were intrigued by the thrill of the fast life. I now look at my past in regret because the ripple effect of my careless actions, which were motivated by my selfish desires, harmed a lot of people. Though I am imprisoned for some crimes that I didn’t do, I take full responsibility because I was a part of the lifestyle that negatively impacted my community and for this I apologize.
It was toward the end of 2016 when I received my life changing awakening. After transferring from Kern Valley to Calipatria State Prison, to my unexpected surprise I was offered an opportunity to attend Imperial Valley College. As I began to appreciate the educational experience, my view of the world began to change. Though I had a Life Without Parole sentence, higher learning provided me with a sense of hope that not only nudged me to excel in school, but to also pick up my Bible and start attending church. Praise the Lord!
Learning, achieving set goals, and having a positive perspective moving forward became my new walk in life. Seven years later, I’m an accomplished author and a Cal State LA communication major. God is good!