Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace: Lesson 7

Delete Meaningless Words

Some modifiers add little or no meaning to the sentences we write:

Productivity actually depends on certain factors that basically involve psychology more than any particular technology.

Delete the meaningless modifiers and we produce a more concise (and clearer) sentence.

Productivity depends on factors that involve psychology more than any technology.

Delete Doubled Words

English has a long tradition of doubling words, a habit which formerly demonstrated the learning of the writer, but which now often produces meaningless redundancies. Here are some of the more common doubled words:

Whenever you double adjectives (or verbs), consider whether your readers need both.

Delete What Readers Infer

This is the most common redundancy, because readers infer meaning in many ways. Here are a few:

Redundant Modifiers

In some cases, the meaning of the main word implies the modifier. Here are some common examples, with the unnecessary modifier shown in bold type.

In every case, delete the modifier. The example below shows some other redundant modifiers in bold type with the main word in italic type.

Do not try to anticipate in advance those events that will completely revolutionize our society because past history shows that it is the eventual outcome of seemingly minor events that has unexpectedly surprised us most.

Do not try to anticipate revolutionary events because history shows that the outcome of seemingly minor events surprises us most.

Redundant Categories

Every word implies the name of its category, so if a word is attached to the word for its category, you can usually cut the category word. We know time is a period, a membrane is an area, pink is a color, shiny is an appearance, so we don't have to write,

During that period of time, the membrane area became pink in color and shiny in appearance.

We need only,

During that time, the membrane became pink and shiny.

In some cases, when we eliminate the category, we have to change an adjective into an adverb:

The holes must be aligned in an accurate manner.

The holes must be aligned accurately.

Sometimes, we can drop the name of the category, if we change an adjective modifying the category into a noun:

The educational process and athletic activities are the responsibility of the county government.

The county is responsible for education and athletics.

Here are some general nouns (in bold type) often used redundantly:

Replace a Phrase with a Word

This kind of redundancy in the most difficult to solve, because we need a large vocabulary and the intelligence to use it. For example,

As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before anything else is to try to see where sequences of subjects and verbs could replace the same ideas expressed in nouns rather than verbs.

That is,

As you edit, first replace nominalizations with clauses.

This edit was achieved by compressing five phrases into five words:

carefully read what you have written => edit
the thing to do before anything else => first
try to see where => find
sequences of subjects and verbs => clauses
ideas expressed in nouns rather than verbs => nominalizations

There is no general principle that will help you recognize phrases that you can revise into a word. Nonetheless, you must try. Listed below, to get you started, are some common phrases you can watch for: